2do List:
Stand apart from the un-directional youth and wondering minds that just want to have a good time or that “just can’t wait till this day is over so I can move onto bigger and better things.” I can’t talk like them. I don’t want to walk like them.
Even though I love them– my heart is not found in them. I cannot be found in them. I must be found in Him. I want a new name. I want a new sound. I want a new voice. Not a model handed down to me “because it has been found to work”.
Does it sound good? Does it look good? I don’t know- I don’t care. I can’t worry myself with that. That’s not the point.
The past ways of “making it happen” and continuing to do it “ONE WAY” because it has been proven to work (Don’t you know…) wont satisfy me. (WHY?? Because IT ISN’T!)
Something the Lord imparted past is only one level obtained. It has to move and flow with the spirit in a way that isn’t comfortable with everyone. (Man’s mind cannot comprehend the ultimate vastness of God–How then can man expect to move further toward the goal when man caps the creativity, the uniqueness and the ultimate expression of worship when a system is instated from past.)
Why don’t I have rest when I leave the bubble of synergy? Why will my soul not rest outside of “the good, sunny, happy days”? Why does my spirit cry out for a raw, real, cold truth. An encounter not found in the market place of worship?
It’s looking straight ahead at Christ with blinders blocking the ideas and minds of men — trudging ahead— it’s being alone (“alone” in the sense that you are without the “synergy” created whilst in other’s company. [A synergy that doesn't allow the expression of the spirit. It dampens the creativity of the spirit and shuts off the ability to store true oil. It is a feeding of ultimately empty oil.])
Locked away in the wonder, mystery, hardship and incredible shaping, defining; truly encompassing glory of the maximum security garden. A desert that I’m learning to run to, instead of run from. Making the darkness, the unknown, my cover; my hiding.
Finding my safety in His pavilion. In the midst of all change, distraction, un-organization; organization, good times, great times, hard times– simply the ‘high’ of community living– running to (not from) the desert and to the beloved where He awaits in anticipation and longing to impart release.
